I'm having trouble coming up with a Halloween costume that I can wear for work tomorrow. As a lifeguard, I'm quite restricted in what's practical and acceptable for the lifeguard stand. I was thinking a hat with a shark's fin, but of course I don't have one of those. I thought maybe a luau type costume because I could just wear a hawaiian shirt open over my guard suit and a flower in my hair. However, the only hawaiian shirt I own is a) three sizes too big (*she happily reports*) and b) still packed in a box somewhere. I suppose if I get very industrious I could stop in at Wal-Mart, but I'm not thinking I'll find one there. Then again, if I do, it'll probably be on the summer clearance rack. Woohoo... bargains!
Any suggestions??
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
You Are What You Eat
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Maybe It's My Job....
About 10 days ago, on the way to work, a Chevy S-10 decided to make a left turn in front of me. This is the result. I have an appointment to drop my SUV at the auto body shop this coming Monday, to have the front and passenger's side entirely redone.
Today, as I was sitting on the lifeguard stand counting down the minutes 'till I could leave, another guard came in and asked "What kind of car do you drive?"
My eyes narrowed involuntarily and a suspicious tone crept out with "a navy blue Trailblazer.... whyyyyy?"
She looked sheepish and said "I thought so. I sideswiped you when I was pulling out this morning."
I can only imagine the look that crossed my face. I am absolutely horrendous at holding in my feelings. At my old job I used to have to turn around every time my boss talked to me because I was pretty sure he could read "YOU ARE AN IDIOT" scrolling across my face. But I digress. I'm fairly certain I looked a little crazed.
I said "Tell me it was the passenger's side. Please tell me it was the passenger's side."
"No. The driver's side." *look of utter dismay from me* "It's really not that bad though," she added quickly, though clearly it WAS bad enough for her to tell me. She continued to try to convince me that it was minor but it kept sounding worse and worse. "It's just a few minor scratches.... I was able to rub my paint right off your bumper.... The noise was the worst.... I think that's when my piece of trim was peeling off my car...."
"Please stop," I said. She did.
She finally offered "If it's too bad let me know and I'll pay for it."
Which, in case you're wondering, it is, and she will be. She just doesn't know it yet.
Bringing me to the title of this posting and something I may need to further consider. One of my friends keeps telling me this is a clear sign I should quit my job and stay home and answer phones remotely for his business. Heh heh. It'd save me on the car wrecks I think.
Today, as I was sitting on the lifeguard stand counting down the minutes 'till I could leave, another guard came in and asked "What kind of car do you drive?"
My eyes narrowed involuntarily and a suspicious tone crept out with "a navy blue Trailblazer.... whyyyyy?"
She looked sheepish and said "I thought so. I sideswiped you when I was pulling out this morning."
I can only imagine the look that crossed my face. I am absolutely horrendous at holding in my feelings. At my old job I used to have to turn around every time my boss talked to me because I was pretty sure he could read "YOU ARE AN IDIOT" scrolling across my face. But I digress. I'm fairly certain I looked a little crazed.
I said "Tell me it was the passenger's side. Please tell me it was the passenger's side."
"No. The driver's side." *look of utter dismay from me* "It's really not that bad though," she added quickly, though clearly it WAS bad enough for her to tell me. She continued to try to convince me that it was minor but it kept sounding worse and worse. "It's just a few minor scratches.... I was able to rub my paint right off your bumper.... The noise was the worst.... I think that's when my piece of trim was peeling off my car...."
"Please stop," I said. She did.
She finally offered "If it's too bad let me know and I'll pay for it."
Which, in case you're wondering, it is, and she will be. She just doesn't know it yet.
Bringing me to the title of this posting and something I may need to further consider. One of my friends keeps telling me this is a clear sign I should quit my job and stay home and answer phones remotely for his business. Heh heh. It'd save me on the car wrecks I think.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
How Not to Get Hit By a Car
Today is my father's 59th birthday.
Last year for his birthday, he got some cards, a cake, and hit by a car. Well, technically the kid didn't run over my dad until the day AFTER his birthday, but details shmetails.
And since I was able to spend several weeks in Arkansas over the last year, helping my mom as she was full time care giver to dad and her own mother, plus part-time to an aunt of mine, I have learned a few things.
First, Grandma's physical therapist is cuter than Dad's. Heh heh. Just kidding. Not about Rich being cuter, cuz he is, but kidding that this is the foremost lesson. Which of course you probably guessed.
Moving right along....
To begin with, IF you are going to be run over by a car, it may or may not perhaps be better to try to jump onto the hood as it makes contact with you.
This is something dad had always thought would be a good move. (Yes, I do come from a family that frequently considers the worst case scenario.) However, he is not sure whether or not he did this. He doesn't actually remember too much of the accident. Mostly just thinking "That car is going to hit me" and then trying to sit up on the pavement afterwards.
Secondly, if you must go to a hospital in Mountain Home, Arkansas, do NOT believe them if they tell you that you are okay.
Or at least force them to x-ray more than one leg before sending you home a few hours after being victim to a car-pedestrian crosswalk meeting. You also might want to suggest extensive MRIs of the entire lower body some time before 5 weeks have passed, as the hospital is not likely to consider this on their own. My grandmother can also verify that you should not accept the doctor's word upon pronouncing you healthy when all along you have a broken back.
In addition, do NOT assume that it is safe to cross at an intersection just because the light tells you too and pedestrians have right-of-way and the law states that all intersections are official crosswalks whether marked or unmarked.
If you do assume this, then you are just taking fate into your own hands, because some teenagers are in too big of a hurry to show off their Wal-Mart purchases to their buddies to consider whether or not they should check for pedestrians.
Furthermore, when thinking that said teenager and responsible parents of such will exercise human compassion and accept the burden of one's actions, prepare to be incorrect.
This one speaks for itself. Or doesn't speak, as the case may be, since not once has anyone uttered a word of apology. In addition, said *@!*^]# teenager claims innocence in the matter entirely, so I suppose his attorney has probably instructed him not to say a word.
And finally, if you find yourself somehow the victim of circumstance and an idiot driver, choose your words carefully when explaining the accident to children.
Apparently my sister's then 5 year old that Grandpa had acquired super powers and he was quite impressed. After further inquiring about his glee over Grandpa's condition, she learned that 5-year-old was eager to see his grandfather "fly over a car". He was not nearly as happy when he learned that the flying was not going to be repeated.
Last year for his birthday, he got some cards, a cake, and hit by a car. Well, technically the kid didn't run over my dad until the day AFTER his birthday, but details shmetails.
And since I was able to spend several weeks in Arkansas over the last year, helping my mom as she was full time care giver to dad and her own mother, plus part-time to an aunt of mine, I have learned a few things.
First, Grandma's physical therapist is cuter than Dad's. Heh heh. Just kidding. Not about Rich being cuter, cuz he is, but kidding that this is the foremost lesson. Which of course you probably guessed.
Moving right along....
To begin with, IF you are going to be run over by a car, it may or may not perhaps be better to try to jump onto the hood as it makes contact with you.
This is something dad had always thought would be a good move. (Yes, I do come from a family that frequently considers the worst case scenario.) However, he is not sure whether or not he did this. He doesn't actually remember too much of the accident. Mostly just thinking "That car is going to hit me" and then trying to sit up on the pavement afterwards.
Secondly, if you must go to a hospital in Mountain Home, Arkansas, do NOT believe them if they tell you that you are okay.
Or at least force them to x-ray more than one leg before sending you home a few hours after being victim to a car-pedestrian crosswalk meeting. You also might want to suggest extensive MRIs of the entire lower body some time before 5 weeks have passed, as the hospital is not likely to consider this on their own. My grandmother can also verify that you should not accept the doctor's word upon pronouncing you healthy when all along you have a broken back.
In addition, do NOT assume that it is safe to cross at an intersection just because the light tells you too and pedestrians have right-of-way and the law states that all intersections are official crosswalks whether marked or unmarked.
If you do assume this, then you are just taking fate into your own hands, because some teenagers are in too big of a hurry to show off their Wal-Mart purchases to their buddies to consider whether or not they should check for pedestrians.
Furthermore, when thinking that said teenager and responsible parents of such will exercise human compassion and accept the burden of one's actions, prepare to be incorrect.
This one speaks for itself. Or doesn't speak, as the case may be, since not once has anyone uttered a word of apology. In addition, said *@!*^]# teenager claims innocence in the matter entirely, so I suppose his attorney has probably instructed him not to say a word.
And finally, if you find yourself somehow the victim of circumstance and an idiot driver, choose your words carefully when explaining the accident to children.
Apparently my sister's then 5 year old that Grandpa had acquired super powers and he was quite impressed. After further inquiring about his glee over Grandpa's condition, she learned that 5-year-old was eager to see his grandfather "fly over a car". He was not nearly as happy when he learned that the flying was not going to be repeated.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
The Art of Procrastination
It isn't easy.... to always put off things 'til the last moment. It takes a tremendous amount of creativity and downright effort to come up with other things that are more important than the things on your "Must Do" list. For example, at this very moment my "Must Do" list contains only two items:
- Homework topic A
- Homework topic B
One would think it would be easier to simply finish the homework and therefore stop worrying about it. Not to mention the added benefit of understanding and accomplishing the assignment. I, however, am doing other things.
"Why, Lesley," you ask, "what other things could you possibly be doing?" I'm so glad you asked. Here is a brief run-down of the creative ways I have NOT done homework just today:
- web site profile maintenance-- I have updated my profiles with the most current information for each of these sites: Facebook, Twitter, Twine, Xanga, Here.
- commenting status updates -- I reviewed 3 pages of friends' Facebook updates and added my two cents worth to most of them.
- sending email -- You can't just let them remain unreplied to, can you?
- updating web sites -- This is different than updating profiles. I have added a few new entries to my Twitter, one entirely new Twine and a bunch of new items there, plus new photos on Facebook.
- grocery shopping -- Actually, I just wanted a giant cookie from the grocery store, but I also stocked up on snackage and cereal for Caleb since he will be off school for the next two weeks.
- blogging -- Which you are reading.
See folks, it takes some creative planning to come up with this many time-wasters. It's no poetry effort, but it IS somewhat of a challenge.
However, it is now less than 3 hours until my homework is due, so I shall grudgingly try to accomplish it. Unless you can come up with something better?
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Spot-On
Welcome to my new Blog Spot! I'm excited to have a new place to blog, and plan to use it as a pre-cursor to starting my own website. This blog should help me to let my thoughts shift and settle and we'll see what eventually becomes of it. So to start with, here is a repost from my Xanga blog, just to get me started.
Padma (in the yellow cap) and Shilpi (was absent today so not in the picture) both have conquered an overwhelming fear of putting their face in the water. Padma told me the other day that she just keeps her eyes closed (despite the goggles) so that she won't see the bottom of the pool and then she's not as afraid. They are both still struggling with their stroke, but by the time Padma left the pool today she was beginning to move forward instead of backward! They remind me that I must work hard to overcome my fear but it is worth the effort.
Nifriti (center) started a class late but caught up quickly and began swimming last week. She is confident enough to try the deep end without help, even though she's had to have a lifeguard assist to the deck twice. It doesn't bother her in the least. She just says "I'm fine... now. Thank you" and goes back to practicing! By the time she left class today she was helping Padma learn! She reminds me that 'going under' is part of learning and you take what you get and keep going. And you practice until you get it right.
Betty (far right) is fantastic. Three weeks ago she celebrated her birthday -- her 79th birthday. She said she's wanted to learn to swim for years and maybe it's time she did something for herself. We all agreed. She's had to overcome the fear of floating and she's doing so well. Before class was over today she was floating on her own! She reminds me that it is never too late to learn something new, to take on new challenges, and to change your life for the better.
Sharon (back center) is nothing but inspiring. A terrible car wreck several years ago left her with some permanent brain damage (which she told me herself, so I'm not passing on gossip.) Sharon's relearned to walk and is now relearning to swim. She told me today that she takes the water fitness classes because in the water she doesn't have to concentrate on standing up. It's a huge effort for her to coordinate her arms, her legs, and her breathing all at once. But every single time she goes under, she stands back up, puts her arms over her head, kicks back off the bottom, and swims. She reminds me a strong will is a powerful weapon and that things DO get better.
Marian (far left) has amazed everyone. She came into class unafraid of the water but unable to swim a single stroke. By the end of the first class she was swimming with the help of a noodle. She came in to practice several times during the week and one day another swimmer said to her "You're already doing everything you need to do. Why don't you just put the noodle down and try it?" So she did. And she swam half way across the pool. She is now joining other YMCA members for the regular lap swim time! AND she has been more help than I can even begin to say. She works with every other woman in class, in truth co-teaching with me. And since she just learned it herself, her methods are really far better than mine. I'm listening to her (and Nifriti) tell others what worked for them and I'm learning how to be a better swim instructor. Marian reminds me that success should be celebrated and shared. She "pays it forward" all the time.
These women all left the pool today with huge grins on their faces. They tell people I'm a great teacher, but it really isn't me at all. In fact, I feel entirely inadequate because I think they've all taught themselves. Their strength, their will, their desire is what has propelled them forward. I've just been along for the ride.
(Acknowledgments: All of the ladies gave me permission to use this pic and write about them. Special thanks to SousChefJeff for taking the photo.)
Every Tuesday morning for the last six weeks I have had the privilege of working with half a dozen amazing women. Each one of these ladies has her own story, her own challenges, and her own reasons for the thing that brought us together: adult swim lessons. It's difficult enough for a child to learn to swim, but an adult has so many extra obstacles in their way. For one thing, they're old enough to know what drowning is and most adult beginning swimmers are terrified of it, and consequently, of putting their face in the water, or worse yet, lifting their feet off the ground. But each of these women has had such incredible success since the beginning of class. And I find them all entirely inspirational.
Padma (in the yellow cap) and Shilpi (was absent today so not in the picture) both have conquered an overwhelming fear of putting their face in the water. Padma told me the other day that she just keeps her eyes closed (despite the goggles) so that she won't see the bottom of the pool and then she's not as afraid. They are both still struggling with their stroke, but by the time Padma left the pool today she was beginning to move forward instead of backward! They remind me that I must work hard to overcome my fear but it is worth the effort.Nifriti (center) started a class late but caught up quickly and began swimming last week. She is confident enough to try the deep end without help, even though she's had to have a lifeguard assist to the deck twice. It doesn't bother her in the least. She just says "I'm fine... now. Thank you" and goes back to practicing! By the time she left class today she was helping Padma learn! She reminds me that 'going under' is part of learning and you take what you get and keep going. And you practice until you get it right.
Betty (far right) is fantastic. Three weeks ago she celebrated her birthday -- her 79th birthday. She said she's wanted to learn to swim for years and maybe it's time she did something for herself. We all agreed. She's had to overcome the fear of floating and she's doing so well. Before class was over today she was floating on her own! She reminds me that it is never too late to learn something new, to take on new challenges, and to change your life for the better.
Sharon (back center) is nothing but inspiring. A terrible car wreck several years ago left her with some permanent brain damage (which she told me herself, so I'm not passing on gossip.) Sharon's relearned to walk and is now relearning to swim. She told me today that she takes the water fitness classes because in the water she doesn't have to concentrate on standing up. It's a huge effort for her to coordinate her arms, her legs, and her breathing all at once. But every single time she goes under, she stands back up, puts her arms over her head, kicks back off the bottom, and swims. She reminds me a strong will is a powerful weapon and that things DO get better.
Marian (far left) has amazed everyone. She came into class unafraid of the water but unable to swim a single stroke. By the end of the first class she was swimming with the help of a noodle. She came in to practice several times during the week and one day another swimmer said to her "You're already doing everything you need to do. Why don't you just put the noodle down and try it?" So she did. And she swam half way across the pool. She is now joining other YMCA members for the regular lap swim time! AND she has been more help than I can even begin to say. She works with every other woman in class, in truth co-teaching with me. And since she just learned it herself, her methods are really far better than mine. I'm listening to her (and Nifriti) tell others what worked for them and I'm learning how to be a better swim instructor. Marian reminds me that success should be celebrated and shared. She "pays it forward" all the time.
These women all left the pool today with huge grins on their faces. They tell people I'm a great teacher, but it really isn't me at all. In fact, I feel entirely inadequate because I think they've all taught themselves. Their strength, their will, their desire is what has propelled them forward. I've just been along for the ride.
(Acknowledgments: All of the ladies gave me permission to use this pic and write about them. Special thanks to SousChefJeff for taking the photo.)
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